hard questions.

i guess you could say i’m pretty confused about love. (love between a guy and a girl, that is.) i just don’t understand it. one day i’ll be watching a sappy love movie and think, “oh! that’s what loves supposed to look like!” and then i’ll read a book that says, “no. love is not what it looks like in the movies.”

WTF?!

i used to think that love was all about the fuzzy stuff. the symptoms, you know what i’m talking about! not being able to eat, that sick feeling, the “fireworks” every time you touch that special someone… is that even real? i have gone my whole life without feeling it, and now my belief in it is starting to fade.

i read recently that love ISN’T about the fuzzy stuff. that it’s all about the nitty gritty. it’s about being there even when your significant other gets fat and ugly. it’s about caring, and kindness, and honesty. it’s about putting someone else’s needs before yours.

but how can i know? i’ve never felt it, so how do it know when it’s real? i’d hate to think that i’m one of those cynics that doesn’t believe in true love, but honestly, i don’t understand it at all.

and then there’s the thought that haunts me the most: maybe i have felt love, but i got so wrapped up in all the fuzzy crap, that i overlooked the meaning of true love completely. maybe i’ll i never feel it at all…

Ridin' Solo.

Today, while expanding my iTunes library, I stumbled upon a song called "Ridin' Solo". by Jason Derulo

And it basically describes my life. Here's the chorus:

I'm puttin' on my shades to cover up my eyes,
I'm jumpin' in my ride, I'm heading out tonight,
I'm solo, I'm ridin' solo, I'm ridin' solo, I'm ridin' solo, solo.
I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine, I'm loving cloud nine, my head's in the sky.
I'm solo, I'm ridin' solo, I'm ridin' solo, I'm ridin' solo, solo.

Not gonna lie, there are times when I would absolutely love to have a boyfriend. But truth be told, at times I actually LOVE being single. There are sooo many things you don't have to worry about when your "Ridin' Solo".

1. You can flirt with, text, and call as many guys as you want. Cuz...it doesn't matter. haha.

2. You never have to worry about upsetting your bf/gf.

3. You can hang out with whoever you want.

4. You never have to worry about clashing outfits!!

5. You never have to worry about him/her cheating on you.

6. You can be yourself!! You don't have to hold back so you can impress them.

So, tomorrow I will show up at Prom as a beautiful, confident and pretty hot "Single Lady".

Cuz that's how I roll: Solo. :)



till this girl is taken,
lindsey.