And I thought 2012 was the end of the world...

This is the first time EVER that I have never wanted a new year to start. Normally, I'm all for "starting over", but this time it's a literal term.

Once it turns January 1st, my life basically won't stop being a giant mess until I get into college. So basically... August. WHY do I dig myself so deep? I really want to know. My parents do it, and I guess I thought I was always really good at juggling things. I have never in my life though, had so much on my plate. I literally want to shoot myself in the foot for doing this to myself. I absolutely hate how I have pushed a lot of people away with my hectic schedule. In reality, I don't make time for friends at all. Sure, I'll meet up with someone for coffee every now and then, but truth is, It's all about me right now. All the decisions I have been making recently will directly effect what the future holds for me...

...Which I really need to stop thinking about. I start to go into extreme bouts of anxiety when I think about the future. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Uncertainty is something I have never been able to deal with and it honestly scares the crap out of me.

Now that I have completely scared all of my lower classmen friends...

till the view is clear,

lindsey