coming to a close

Whoa, it's hard to believe this year is coming to a close already!! I have had so many amazing new experiences this year and definitely a lot of firsts.

Just this year I have....

gotten accepted to college, turned 19, made some incredible friendships, been an assistant coach, dyed my hair, flown 12 times, eaten Ramen noodles more than anyone ever should in their life, had my first five-hour energy, gotten the lead in a play, gone tubing, GRADUATED, learned an entire Mozart Sonata, won a scholarship, made my regional cut time, sang in a vocal competition, passed my first college jury, fell in love with Justin Bieber, spent more money on Starbucks than anyone could ever imagine, let my hair grow long, gone to senior prom, got a mac, found my soul sister, sang in a professional Opera, bought a polaroid camera, baptized a friend in a river, ate at P.F. Chang's, became a floor rep, found my first gray hair, decorated my very own christmas tree, and got an A on all of my college finals!!!!

I have been so blessed beyond compare this year. God has shown me numerous times how much he provides for those who trust in Him. I cannot wait to see what he has in store next!

And I thought 2012 was the end of the world...

This is the first time EVER that I have never wanted a new year to start. Normally, I'm all for "starting over", but this time it's a literal term.

Once it turns January 1st, my life basically won't stop being a giant mess until I get into college. So basically... August. WHY do I dig myself so deep? I really want to know. My parents do it, and I guess I thought I was always really good at juggling things. I have never in my life though, had so much on my plate. I literally want to shoot myself in the foot for doing this to myself. I absolutely hate how I have pushed a lot of people away with my hectic schedule. In reality, I don't make time for friends at all. Sure, I'll meet up with someone for coffee every now and then, but truth is, It's all about me right now. All the decisions I have been making recently will directly effect what the future holds for me...

...Which I really need to stop thinking about. I start to go into extreme bouts of anxiety when I think about the future. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Uncertainty is something I have never been able to deal with and it honestly scares the crap out of me.

Now that I have completely scared all of my lower classmen friends...

till the view is clear,

lindsey