coming to a close

Whoa, it's hard to believe this year is coming to a close already!! I have had so many amazing new experiences this year and definitely a lot of firsts.

Just this year I have....

gotten accepted to college, turned 19, made some incredible friendships, been an assistant coach, dyed my hair, flown 12 times, eaten Ramen noodles more than anyone ever should in their life, had my first five-hour energy, gotten the lead in a play, gone tubing, GRADUATED, learned an entire Mozart Sonata, won a scholarship, made my regional cut time, sang in a vocal competition, passed my first college jury, fell in love with Justin Bieber, spent more money on Starbucks than anyone could ever imagine, let my hair grow long, gone to senior prom, got a mac, found my soul sister, sang in a professional Opera, bought a polaroid camera, baptized a friend in a river, ate at P.F. Chang's, became a floor rep, found my first gray hair, decorated my very own christmas tree, and got an A on all of my college finals!!!!

I have been so blessed beyond compare this year. God has shown me numerous times how much he provides for those who trust in Him. I cannot wait to see what he has in store next!

happy to be home

I'm done with my first semester of college!! What?! After many stressful finals, recitals, and juries, I myself have no idea how I got here. It's just crazy!

After just a semester I have learned/ been apart of things I never could have dreamed of!

• I debuted in my first professional opera.
• I survived finals week.
• I completed my first college juries.
• I found new, wonderful friends.
• I performed in a record amount of recitals.
• I learned and memorized eight songs (four of which were in a foreign language.)
• I discovered a new love for opera.

With all these new experiences, I honestly cannot WAIT for next semester to start. And I'm applying to be an RA! Being a freshman has given me a new passion for helping others, especially while watching a lot of my new friends struggle in the very unfamiliar environment of college.

I'll be posting pictures soon of my adventures so far and how much I have been absolutely BLESSED this past semester.

So excited for what's to come!

the big u

Well, here I am folks: a college kid. I feel bad that I haven't had any time to blog, but college is HARD!! I really didn't expect it to be like this! Sure, I thought I'd have a little more homework each night, but NO. Try TONS more along with hours of practice time, endless recitals and a plethora of boring seminars to pick from. I know, I make it sound horrible, but you haven't even heard the beginning of it. I'm pretty sure CAVEMEN lived better than us college kids do. We're talking terrible food, dirty toilets, walking five flights of stairs to get to class, and lukewarm showers (if you even get that.) Not to mention finding somebody else's underwear in your laundry-- yeah, it's happened.

Despite all this, I'm actually starting to LOVE it. After being home for fall break (for an entire week) I have discovered that Webster has truly become my home. My new home. Which is really surprising to me. I love the classes, the teachers, and most of all-- the people. I have no idea what I would do without those kids in West 2 South!! There is a sense of community and acceptance that I have never been apart of before-- I love it. And I can't wait to go back.

one thing i have realized...

...is that I would be nowhere without my friends. I have learned that friends are not only there when you need them most, but they also make you want to be a better person. Or they should anyway.

Over the years I have realized that friends are the most important way that God speaks to me. Through my friends, I have come to see who I really am as a person. They truly draw out the best in me, and I really don't think I could possibly be blessed anymore than I am.

I feel like a couple of these people need a shout-out... so here we go. :)

Allie Betancourt-- Oh boy. We're going on two years now, Allie and I am truly blessed by our friendship. We've had our share of ups and downs, but I know that I can tell you anything and you will still love me-- no judging. You stand by me even when I act incredibly stupid and I hope you know that I would do the same. You are definitely my "sistah from anotha mistah" and I am so proud to call you my best friend. DON'T HATE, LOVE.

Lily Scott-- Where in the heck would I be without your encouragement?? You are seriously the most cheerful and caring person I know. I definitely know I couldn't have gotten through these hard times without your prayers and your encouraging spirit. You are wonderful.

Lucy Hamilton-- You are a new bestie. I love the fact that we can chill or talk for hours and never run out of things to discuss!! I'm so glad that we got to hangout this past year and I got to know you. Definitely one of the coolest people I know. ;) "Can we just have 5 minutes on..."

Abbey and Maggie-- You guys get to share one. ;) Umm...our friendship literally came out of nowhere. Hahaha. I don't think I've ever connected with somebody inside a show as much as I have with you girls. I really hope we will stay in touch in college...cuz you guys are awesome. Thanks for giving me the courage to reach for my dreams in this crazy art we call theater. I love you girls. BLOOD SISTERS FOR LIFE!!

Kathy-- You are in a category of your own. I can't tell you how much of an encouraging, loving, caring, understanding person you have been over this last year in my life. I seriously don't think I would have made it without you. You have challenged me to be the best that I can be in everything that I do, and I know that God sent you to me so that I would make it through this awful time we call Senior year. I am truly blessed to call you my mentor, friend, and second mom. I love you.

And to everyone else who has been there for me this year, I thank you from the bottom of my heart! You know who you are, and I am so SO blessed to call you all friends.

till the ink dries,

lindsey

Unifieds and Goodbyes

Dear LORD it's been a long time. It's been SO crazy these past weeks with college auditions and the like. I recently got back this weekend from the Unified Auditions in Chicago! For those of you who don't know, Unifieds is when a bunch of schools (in this case, 25) come together in one setting for musical theater auditions. And It's CRAZY! After many stressful flights, hotel stays, and driving around in 3ft. of snow, I am happy to say that the process of college auditions are finally coming to a close. As of now, I only have two more auditions and I will be done!

In the mean time, I have also auditioned for The King and I through Starbright Players and I got a principle role!! For those of you who know the show--Lady Thiang! I get my own song and everything and am so so sooo excited. After taking a break from doing shows this semester, I'm so excited to dive right in and perform! It's about time I had some fun!

Not only are auditions slowing down, but everything else is seeming to wind down too. Swimming season is now officially over, and I find that I have nothing to do during the week now! I'm starting to realize that Senior year is coming to a close, and it's one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with.

I know, I know, It's only February. But you know what the sad thing is? I've already had to start saying goodbye! I had my last day of swim practice, and I realized I will probably never see some of those kids ever again. Of course I'll visit but as I've experienced with some other graduates, you can't see people every time they come home. It's so sad!! :(

Alright, enough with the sad. I'm really not ready for all that quite yet, but I know I'll have to face it sooner or later.

Will post more about Unifieds and the few pics that I took later!

till the party ends,

lindsey

Belmont Auditions: CHECK

And so it begins! The crazy process of college auditions has commenced! I only hope that I will be this enthusiastic in a couple of weeks!

First audition: Belmont University in Nashville, TN.

I was so happy and relieved to find out that my first audition was the one closest to home. I am already very familiar with Belmont, which proved to work in my advantage!! I felt so comfortable and relaxed (something that almost never happens at auditions for me.) In fact, it was probably one of the best auditions I have ever given. Normally I have this weird swallowing thing where I get so nervous to the point that I can't control when I swallow. I'll do it in the middle of songs, while I'm talking... Yeah, It's awful, and it makes me looks like an IDIOT.

But for the first time ever, I WAS SWALLOWING NORMALLY!!! Praise GOD, otherwise I'd be in some serious trouble. I can only hope that my other auditions go as well!

So, many of you may be wondering what I actually had to do, so here's the breakdown.

1. Arrive at 8:00 am. (blech.)

2. Receive Itinerary. (Up until this point I had no idea when my actual audition was. I could have been first at 9:00 am, I could have been last at 1:00 pm. Unfortunately for me, it was the former.)

3. CHILL FOR THREE HOURS. (this one was hard because you literally just sit there thinking about everything that could go wrong in your auditions. It's. Bad.)

4. Basic Musicianship Test (I got to clap rhythms. What? Am I in preschool? I thought this was college!! BRING ON THE AUGMENTED CHORDS!!!)

5. WAIT ANOTHER HOUR.

6. Audition time! (It really sucks to think that I put all this time and effort into something that literally lasts five minutes, sometimes shorter. But oh well, that's show biz!)

So....that's pretty much it! Auditioning is actually a very boring process, (Aside from all the drama that revolves around it.) and also one I don't like to practice. I really hate auditions with a burning passion and just wish auditors could just look at you and know you were the right choice for their school. But of course in my perfect world, everyone would poop rainbows...

All I can say now is, one down, one million to go.

Literally.

till the rainbows aren't runny,

lindsey

And I thought 2012 was the end of the world...

This is the first time EVER that I have never wanted a new year to start. Normally, I'm all for "starting over", but this time it's a literal term.

Once it turns January 1st, my life basically won't stop being a giant mess until I get into college. So basically... August. WHY do I dig myself so deep? I really want to know. My parents do it, and I guess I thought I was always really good at juggling things. I have never in my life though, had so much on my plate. I literally want to shoot myself in the foot for doing this to myself. I absolutely hate how I have pushed a lot of people away with my hectic schedule. In reality, I don't make time for friends at all. Sure, I'll meet up with someone for coffee every now and then, but truth is, It's all about me right now. All the decisions I have been making recently will directly effect what the future holds for me...

...Which I really need to stop thinking about. I start to go into extreme bouts of anxiety when I think about the future. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Uncertainty is something I have never been able to deal with and it honestly scares the crap out of me.

Now that I have completely scared all of my lower classmen friends...

till the view is clear,

lindsey

thanksgiving and a hardened heart

I am drowning in a sea of STRESS. Five days till deadlines and my parents are adding at least another 5 or 6 schools to the list. None of which I have filled out applications or written essays for!!

I know they are just looking out for me, and they want to increase my chances of getting into a school but it's literally crushing me. As in, I can't take it anymore. I have never felt such a sinking feeling every minute of everyday like I do now. The pressure of holding my whole future in my hands is such an overwhelming feeling, so overwhelming to the point that my physical state is changing. I can't sleep, I'm gaining wait, and I am constantly fatigued. All this stress is really starting to take a toll.

Today in my devotional, the main verse was Psalm 118:24 "This is the day that the LORD has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it." The reading also went on to say how precious are those who thank God even in the darkest of days.

HA. HOW in the world am I supposed to thank God in a time like this? I feel as though I am completely sinking and no one is going to pull me up. It's like someone literally ripped the steering wheel right out of my hand.

I know this is just God's way of reminding me that HE is the one in control, but how am I to thank him with a joyful heart when I feel as though there is nothing to be thankful for right now. Obviously, that's not at all true, but that's just how it feels.


till i'm in,
lindsey.

i'm so scared.

it’s the final stretch.

time to actually send in all my applications. too bad that’s not the end of it, but it means i’m getting close.

but i’m so scared.

everyone is telling me how hard it is to get accepted to most of the schools i’m applying to. i only have about 10, but is that enough?

do people actually NOT get accepted to ANY of the schools they apply to? does that really happen? will i be the first?

for the first time ever, i’m am very truly scared about my future; about what it holds, about what i’ll do.

for the first time ever, i have no control over what’s going to happen and that scares the crap out of me.

till this fear goes away,

lindsey.

every task seems to be harder for me simply cuz my name is lindsey...

It's come; the time for me to apply to colleges. Scary, I know. Just thinking about the fact that I'll actually BE in college by this time next year is so freaky! But by then, this whole ordeal with applications, auditions and all the PREPARATION involved will be over. And the only thing i'll have to worry about is how cute my dorm room will look. ;)

But, unfortunately I'm not there yet. I still have LOTS of work to do (good thing I have good teachers to kick my butt and keep my going!) As a Senior looking to audition for Musical Theater, there are many aspects of applying. Not only do I have write up multiple "creative" essays, but I also have monologue auditions, dance auditions, singing auditions, piano auditions, head shots, resumes, AND interviews that I have to prepare for and look forward too! And because I am applying to so many schools, all of them have different audition requirements, which in turn, makes more work for me.

I seriously, don't know how i'm going to get it all done in time! Along with all these fun, interesting tasks comes (believe it or not) my everyday life! I still have a job, work, piano lessons, voice lessons, swim team, and any shows that I will foolishly audition for and become over-committed with. :)

Yesterday, I was feeling a little overwhelmed. (no surprise there.) I was researching schools and then it hit me, I've got a LOT of work to do, and I have absolutely NO idea how I'm going to find the time to get it all done! I was thinking, I'm going to put all this work into my application, and I really have a slim-to-no chance of even getting in to most of these schools...but guess which verse I came across last night in my Bible?

JEREMIAH 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you.' says the Lord. 'Plans for a future and not for disaster.'"

THANK. GOD.

Cuz you know what? I couldn't do it without him. I know as tough as it's gonna get, God is gonna be right by my side and leading my the whole way! I KNOW that this is where God has gifted me, and by golly, I know if this is what he wants for me he's gonna make it happen!!

I just wish he would make filling out applications a little easier...

till the application deadline,

lindsey.

Chicago and College

What is it that I love about Chicago so much? It could be the towering skyscrapers, the sparkling night life, the downtown beaches, the fun festivals, the quirky tourist stops, or maybe just the fact that I was born there.

Whatever it is, I have always had a love for Chicago IL, even more so now that I live almost 500 miles away. I find myself in awe of this amazing city every time I visit it. For quite some time now I have dreamed of returning to this wonderful city and starting my (hopeful) acting career. Although many of these types of endeavors usually fail, I have more than a hunch that is where I'm supposed to be.

But it's all easier said than done.

Getting there is the hard part. And as much as I would LOVE to attend Columbia College of Chicago, I have a feeling my parents will do everything in their power to keep me in state. Though I may not totally hate the idea of staying in Tennessee, my biggest fear is that I'll never get my dream: performing on the 'big stage'.

Now don't get me wrong, Tennessee has so many things to offer me, including careers like being a recording artist, a musician, an opera singer, and a music teacher, but Chicago has always been part of the dream, and I have to at least try.

Fortunately, Columbia doesn't even require an audition to apply for the school, which makes my whole college application process a LOT easier, but also harder since my acceptance/rejection wouldn't be based on talent at all; but sheerly by my resume.

Oh boy, thinking about college hurts my brain, but I can't help but get so excited! Dreaming of going to school in a city like Chicago makes me so giddy and ready to jump into the next phase of life. Auditions start this fall!! :D

I. Can't. Wait.

till the applications are sent in,

lindsey.